I got into the catnip a few years ago and wrote this. I think it still has a lot to say and I hope you enjoy it - Topcat
For your reading adulation, Topcat proudly presents...
UPDATED EXCERPTS FROM CERTAIN LITERARY CLASSICS!!! [Thunderous applause!]
"1984" by George Orwell
We join our good friend Winston Smith who is attending a rally during Hate Week...
"...at just this moment it had been announced that Oceania was not after all at war with Osama Bin Laden. Oceania was at war with Saddam Hussein. There was, of course, no admission that any change had taken place. Merely it became known, with extreme suddenness and everywhere at once, that Saddam Hussein and not Osama Bin Laden was the enemy. Winston was taking part in a demonstration in one of the (city) squares at the moment when it happened...On a scarlet-draped platform an orator of the State Department...was haranguing the crowd...The speech had been proceeding for perhaps twenty minutes when a messenger hurried onto the platform and a scrap of paper was slipped into the speaker's hand. He unrolled it and read it without pausing in speech. Nothing altered in his voice or manner, or in the content of what he was saying, but suddenly the names were different. Without words said, a wave of understanding rippled through the crowd. Oceania was at war with Saddam Hussein! The next moment there was a tremendous commotion. The banners and posters with which the square was decorated were all wrong! Quite half of them had the wrong faces on them. It was sabotage! The agents of Goldstein had been at work! There was a riotous interlude while posters were ripped from the walls, banners torn to shreds and trampled underfoot...The orator...had gone straight on with his speech. One minute more, and the feral roars of rage were again bursting from the crowd. The hate continued exactly as before, except that the target had been changed. The thing that impressed Winston in looking back was that the speaker had switched from one line to the other actually in mid-sentence, not only without a pause, but without even breaking the syntax..."
"Through the Looking Glass" by Lewis Carroll
We join our dear friend Alice as a high ranking governmental official, Humpty Dumpty, explains that we are fighting a war on "terror"...
"...I don't know what you mean by 'terror,'" Alice said. "Do you mean a military or physical threat by someone such as Mr. Putin, or Saddam Hussein, or Osama Bin Laden, or Al Quaida or Hamas? Or what about China or Russia or North Korea or Islamists? Or what about Iran or even Saudi Arabia or perhaps France? Do you mean an economic threat by globalists or NAFTA or GATT? Or from exporting manufacturing, high tech, or other jobs overseas or by massive illegal immigration here at home to provide a cheap labor pool? Might you mean the cultural and political war being waged by leftists in the mass media, the educational system, or all levels of government that attack traditional Western values and history? Or attacks on the traditional family by imposing abortion rights or homosexual rights? Or the attack on Christianity in the public square? Or perhaps you mean the United Nations or corporate America?" Alice queried. "I don't know what you mean by 'terror,'" Alice said, once again. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of course you don't - till I tell you. I meant "those who would do us harm." "But 'terror' doesn't mean 'those who would do us harm,'" Alice objected. "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I just choose it to mean - neither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all." Alice was much too puzzled to say anything..."
"The Emperor's New Clothes" by Hans Christian Andersen. Interpreted by Naomi Lewis.
Two of the Emperor's economic advisors have approached him and he has agreed to let them weave for him beautiful new clothes of the global economy. All of the best ideas are to be used, including: outsourcing high paying jobs and the manufacturing base overseas or to Mexico, importing cheap labor domestically, and using free trade agreements of all kinds. As we look in on the Emperor, he is beginning his grand procession before the people...
"...So the Emperor walked forth in stately procession under the canopy. People in the streets or at the windows called out such things as, "Doesn't the global economy look magnificent!" "Those new clothes!" "Aren't they marvelous!" "What elegance!" Can you wonder! For nobody dared admit that he or she couldn't see any clothes at all. That would have meant that the person was a stupid fool or no good at his job. Indeed, not one of the emperor's gorgeous outfits had ever been so much praised. Then, in a moment's silence, a child's puzzled voice was heard. "There are no jobs for Americans in the global economy!" "Shh!" said the child's father. "These little ones do talk nonsense." But a whisper moved through the crowd. "A child over there says that the emperor has nothing on." "There are no jobs for Americans!" Soon everyone was murmuring, "There are no jobs for Americans!" At last, the emperor himself began to think that they could be right. But then he thought, "If I stop, it will spoil the procession. And that would never do." So on he stepped, even more proudly than before. As for the courtiers, they went on carrying a train that was not there at all."
Well...that concludes our program. Join us next time when Topcat sings...
TRADITIONAL AMERICAN SONGS!...
Inspirational! ... "Onward Interfaith Soldiers"
Seasonal! ... "(I'm Dreaming of a) Multicultural Winter Holiday"
And, yes, something for the children! ... "She'll Be Coming 'Cross the Border (When She Comes)"
SEE YOU THEN!!!
Continue reading...